but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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