Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize