Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize