what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
