Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
