My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize