oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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