Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
