Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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