I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
