I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will be naked everywhere
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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