Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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