wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
