I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
