im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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