You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
