end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
