thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
