There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
