Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
