OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
