Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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