we have officially lost it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
