How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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