Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
