so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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