Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
