Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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