so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
