Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
