Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
