I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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