Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
