Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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