i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You are the jesus of drinking
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
