I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
