I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
