you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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