Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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