i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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