btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm too high and old for this...
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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