butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
