I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize