I wish you could order shots online.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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