turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
