You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
