well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
