WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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