Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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