Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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