Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize