Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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