Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
