very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
