break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
