He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize