Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im having a threesome with these popsicles
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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