i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
