If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize