well I can't set my house on fire every night
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
