Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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