As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
