i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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