Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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