I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
