yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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