Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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